Updated: Jul 30, 2019
I have given in to the darkness, but it wasn’t always this way.
There was a time where the veil was still covering my eyes… let me explain.
A regular pair of bootcut exercise pants may lend you to injury or even death.
Your feet may get entangled by your pant cuff mid workout, lodging your forehead to the ground, suspending neuroactivity and causing you to inevitably swallow your tongue. How else do you explain the phenomenon of mothers who unapologetically stream the streets exclusively in yoga pants? It must be linked to the looming fear of injury or death were they to wear pants that didn’t hug every nook and cranny of their body.
There was a special place of contempt I held in my heart for yoga pants that are worn outside of the yoga studio. While appropriate for downward dog and a warrior pose, yoga pants in the outside world were a menace to all things good and proper. Just as you would not wear lingerie to host this year’s thanksgiving dinner or even consider sporting a two-piece swimsuit to your niece’s baptism, neither should you dare wear yoga pants to the grocery store or any other space not marked “gym” or “yoga studio.”
My point of tension with yoga pants was their ability to simultaneously showcase the natural outline of one’s crotch and backside to innocent and unsuspecting bystanders. Try and try as you may, tug and stretch if you will, but there is no way to erase the sight of your pubic bone on display.
Yoga pants were pubic enemy number one.
But this all changed one fateful day as I shopped for exercise pants and mistakenly pulled a pair of form fitting yoga pants from the rack. As I pulled the pants to my waist, the floor beneath me began to shake and I felt the soul of Ruth Bader Ginsburg and the feminist movement die. I looked in the mirror and was greeted with the silhouette of my pubic bone. I felt a lot of things in that moment. Anger, betrayal, luxurious comfort, unapologetic celebration of my body, the desire to twirl in place.
My eyes were opening for the first time. Suddenly the enigma and hypnotic lure that was the yoga pant became so clear. Yoga pants were a sexy sweat pant of sorts, combining the comfort and ease of a sweatpant with the sex appeal of a little black dress. You felt like you could halt your mischievous little gremlin in their tracks, purchase the week’s groceries and cause your partners knees to buckle in your presence - all in one pant. I get it.
While I will never be a supporter of intentionally displaying the silhouette of my groin and backside to strangers, I have cracked the code in terms of how to wear this marvelous pant sans showcasing your reproductive parts. With a few layering pieces in place, I will show you how to transform the yoga pant into a classy and wearable wardrobe staple for work or play.
When it comes to wearing yoga pants appropriately, the rule is singular and simple: cover your lady parts. Keep them secret, keep them safe. And of course, by lady parts, I am referring to the land of your pubic bone and backside. If you heed this simple rule, I promise you will seamlessly transition from play date, to grocery run and all other mom-related conventions without a single raised eyebrow from the masses.
Option 1: Blazer and High-Low Tank
There is nothing that says “Mama is a Boss Lady” like a fitted blazer. Pairing a blazer with a high-low button-up tank will draw the eyes towards your upper half and away from the yoga pant line. The layering effect adds visual interest up top while you sit in incomparable comfort below. The form fitting blazer will instantly dress up the yoga pants, while a high-low tank top will add a bit of flounce and appropriate coverage to complete your look. This outfit is all about balance. For the all the athleisure vibes that the yoga pant brings, a blazer and tank buttoned up to the collar brings cohesiveness and structure to your day.
Option 2: The Shift Dress
The shift dress and yoga pant are the perfect pairing and were created to be together till the end of time. The modest shift possesses a boxier cut that comes away from the leg line. The beauty of this wondrous garment is that its generous and roomier shape allows you to move in comfort while feeling lady-like in a dress. Typically sitting just 4-5 inches above the knees, the dress is short and would not be ideal in chasing around your little ones or rolling in the sand on play dates. However, pair this fun ditty with yoga pants and a pair of knee-high boots and you will have achieved the best of both worlds: looking adorable in a dress with the lady parts concealed while effortlessly being able to chase around your little menace to society.
Option 3: The Long Duster Cardigan
The long duster cardigan will always be all things to all people. There isn’t a body type or casual occasion that it cannot master. This light loose-fitting long sweater typically rests along the mid-calf and can be worn open or belted. For this look, I have conjured monochromatic super powers by pairing black yoga pants with a black long tee, creating an unobstructed and visually slimming silhouette. Pairing this monochromatic ensemble with a patterned duster will make the colors of the duster pop while you feel like a sexy cat woman in a solid black ensemble underneath. The duster offers appropriate coverage and bathrobe-like comfort, while the form fitting yoga pants and long black tee bring a feminine and slenderizing leg line.
Your Style Staple In The Struggle
Motherhood: there will be good days and there will be bad. There will be days where even the act of putting on a pair of pants requires utmost courage, and on those days the yoga pant will be faithful till the end. Follow the simple rule of covering your lady parts in these pants and the outfits you can create with this unassuming yoga marvel are endless. With your lady bits concealed, you will be able to effortlessly move from tummy time, to date night, to taking over the world without a single eyebrow ever raised in your direction.
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